Diary Ben [EN]

#AccountabilityWeek14+15 #Ben
Summary:
I didn’t post last week because I was doing a break of gaming to really focus on myself.
I’ll merge last two weeks here.

Monday
One of the last lunch with my closest bro(mance!)
Starting philosophical classes, theme “wisdom within”.
Let go, being and living in present. Awareness, control. Patient and gentle with myself
Enlarge perspective, new eyes, big picture view
2 tools:
– Allow space by making pauses to avoid auto-pilot/reactions
– Stop jumping around ideas in head, giving mind some simple things to think about (meditation)

Tuesday
Chill day at work, happy and feeling well eating alone, I didn’t feel obliged to do street.
Went to improvisation class, surprised that it was contact impro (meaning touching a lot and surfing on other bodies). A lot of girls there, some cutie 😉

Wednesday
Decided to start a week without gaming to focus on being happy alone with myself independent.

Thursday
Improvisation classes it was fun.
Flake by my German, Plux just to say hi to Nelson

Friday
Meetup with Philippe
Great night with my French, we got closer in discussion it was cool.

Saturday
Freeletics workout killed me.
Wanted to go try bachata lessons, didn’t forced myself, quite tired
Started to look at my past years and cried.
—-
Budapest, first time traveling alone, first holidays since Poland a year ago.
I didn’t write detailed field reports each night as I wanted to enjoy the trip

Thursday
I was in my head, watching others, not in 100% gaming mindset. Putting myself at the place of girls getting approached 20times 😊
Friday
Wanted to stop game, too focused on result

Saturday
Otkert approached a lot, tried to kiss several times. Had some fun. Took a number in street

Sunday
Szimpla, insisted for more than an hour with this cutie from UK, moved her, danced, touched a lot and tried to for kiss 4times.

To improve:
Talking more action (day game while visiting)
Networking more with guys
Emotionally detached
More sexual tension and physical calibration
Being happy with (love) myself
Having fun talking with everyone, socializing

Good:
Went out every night from 1 to 5 even with long days
Managed to switch twice my negative mindset
Not giving up fast
Still posting accountability 😉

First rsd Summit for me, it was great, friends from Brussels you missed something, whatever your excuses!
Good speeches and nice people.
I didn’t take 100% advantage of it but it inspired me to really focus on my inner game in coming weeks.

#AccountabilityWeek17 #Ben
Summary: still way less focused on “gaming” but this week past fast wow, fucking again sexfriends, dealing with emotional attachment…

Monday
Philo classes, topic “attending to the present moment”
Attention, control, detachment, clear your mind.
Looks obvious but good to remind basics resonating with my inner work.

Tuesday
Homeworking, it’s been moths I didn’t, surprised and happy by myself being productive.
French flaked, she’s also hill as the German.
I focused on admin papers, career related subjects and played some card game with flatmate.

Wednesday
German again after 3weeks, sex started great, she was about to come but blocking herself by saying no without noticing. I appreciated when she encouraged me to fuck her hard and saying “I want you”.
After around an hour the condom broke
She freaked out about taking pill and was completely down to do it again. We talked about our tests which are ok.
I wanted to fuck her without as she will take the pill anyway but no way so I finally came in her mouth.
Wanted also to fuck in the morning but she was so cold to the point I can’t touch her to warm up.
She never fucked anyone of 5guys (she’s done 2girls) without protection.
She wasn’t really in long term relationship.
I admit I missed her she admits too.
I ask her what she think about seeing each other more often like once per week, she said it’s ok like this for her.
I proposed it’s maybe better to stop as I’m getting attached, she wants to protect me and said I need to figure out.
I wanted to cry in the morning and get out of my head but I filtered myself.
She’s pretty busy and going to travel again.
We decided to talk about this next Tuesday and take decision.
I ask her about other current relationships, she kissed 2guys in bar while drunk, she’ll have a date with one. I told her about my French SF

Thursday
Doing this training day at work, realised I don’t listen. A lot in my head and lack of focus. A little bit tired, more lack of attention
Impro class was cool, I had a great energy while going there 🙂 and done some cool challenging exercises.
Passed by plux with Adrian talked with this girl from “EU bubble”. Realized fast that discussion will be boring as we didn’t change subject about work, the set was cute.
I did not want to be crazy social, not in the mood so better went home early

Friday
Last training day at work, I was not focused at all. Half sleeping or in my mind.
Swimming, I was proud to be consistent, I push myself hard and even got a calf cramp
Went to the meetup about alternative medicine (like Reiki) my Friend organised, it was cool. I finally planned an acupressure session with him

Saturday
Thought about joining RSD Bruges event but wasn’t sure if my state is ready to do daygame and also needed to be at home @16h to meet my coach for relooking session.
It was nice I got more confident, bought 1 shirt/chino and belt
Then birthday of a friend, a lot of girls like 70% balance, I tried to be social and felt good. No crazy connections or discussion but it was already 3am without realising it. I wasn’t stressed or in my head.
A lot of “bohemian style” people not my world actually! Took a number and fb but not solid
On the way home I stopped by Mezzo, RSD people still there hustling at 4am gg. Done 2 open outside, nothing interesting to me inside and a lot of guys.

Sunday
Sorted some pictures on my computer and of course including my ex, it was difficult as I don’t want to delete.
Took the decision to travel next year instead of staying in a well-paid job that I don’t really enjoy
Freeletics workout, I pushed myself but was in my head thinking about meeting the French leaving close by.
I called her to pass by but she answered later, finally coming after at my place.
I’m amazed how this girl doesn’t care, barely asks any curious questions. We didn’t see for weeks and not much to say.
She can be nice like she brought some homemade cookies and last time she took car of my hair or she does massage.
Sex remains great, she was so tight at first round.
It’s also good as she’s not bitching and just chill I should be happier about that

#AccountabilityWeek19 #ben
Summary: fuck buddies, travel and small action, working on my emotions
Monday
Philo classes I was like wtf I’m doing there, a lot in my head.
Fucking French was awesome, I controled myself to come really late and played a lot with positions.
I think either she doesn’t really give a fuck, which sounds weird when we see how we are connected or she’s faking very good to protect herself.
Anyway she’s a good ‘study case’ for me to work on my detachment and it’s very challenging
Tuesday
Impro was good again, felt better after as usually
German came late with sexy lingerie as I told her last time. She has definitely a fucking nice body, no comparison possible with the French.
I wanted to take a picture of her back for the record but too shy.
I was more into control, teasing her a lot, I set my frame.
Sex is really different even with the condom there is this connection with this long deep eye contacts.
I named her sweetie, she protected herself by asking me to not call her like that.
My emotions are weak with her, let’s be honest in a way I’m in love.
That’s the fucked up part as I’ll leave Belgium anyway so why I invest so much energy thinking and feelings about her.
In the morning I tried to touch her, she was like no, I tried to not get affected and went for food and some short meditation.
Then I realised it would be stupid to miss a morning orgasm so I went again and great fuck for sure
Wednesday
Done this interview for a job in France, I felt so good after an enthousiast about being good at it and selling myself
Getting ready for my trip back home, spending/losing quite some time on internet omg, hard do discipline myself.
I should accept and be less hard on me but still in my head block to do NLP excercises
Thursday
Traveling to Alsace, inspired by this girl with blablacar who traveled quite a lot doing roadtrip
Friday
Cool to be back in Lyon
Meeting cool gamers
few opens at Sirius
Saturday
Entered in almost all possible bars, around 30opens with fast séduction, fun but no outcome (lack of calibration)
Sunday
Chill and good time with old friends
Suscribed a month premium on ‘adopte un mec’ to give a chance on online.

#AccountabilityWeek20 #Ben
Summary: wow already 4month! Some action again 🙂
Monday
Back home, chilling

Tuesday
Went cycling on my old training roads

Wednesday
Last day, happy to go back in Bxl
Interesting discussion with a blablacar girl, cute face but body not special and have boyfriend.

Thursday
Working again, better tolerance to bullshit there, holidays helped.
Went to meetup about happiness but was quite late there then Plux alone, I was kind of looking for open finally a red hat on a Polish girl helped me. I brought discussion to 3somes but she wasn’t comfortable to talk about intimacy. Lack of calibration probably.
Another open on a girl with flowers on the jacket, I was more interested in her cute friend but she wasn’t open and they didn’t like me talking about drugs lol.

Friday
Center with my “clown” wing Adrian, love your persistence bro! He inspired me to practice cold reading also, which is cool when working
Some opens and discussions, I got kind of gamed by 2girls it was new and cool sensation, they losed attraction pretty fast tough!
It was a cool night anyway, not too much in my head and cool to see other gamers like fatih, vincent, ryan

Saturday
Center starded alone late then Matt joined. I forced myself and needed a lot of time to get in a flow. Hopefully warming sets at Delirium helped, Bar des amis and then a bar at Sainte Catherine definitely worth it with local people. There nice convos started, making the girl laugh and having finally some fun seducing.
Last one from Peru was good, I finally got horny while talking and touching her, I realised this almost never happen appart from when I dance really close. She was tipsy and manage to overthrow a bucket of beer on my shoes/pants while hugging together. Thanks to my bro who really helped occupied the pig cockblock friend (I own you one 😉 )
We talked about sex, I slapped her butt, I could have lead more to isolate and go for the kiss
I took number and schedule her giving me a massage to apologize for this accident.

Sunday
Workout freeletics was great, some nice Italian chick, I’m always interested in cute sporty girls.

Called my NC, she was doing Netflix all day and was afraid to get out of her comfort zone to come to my place. I proposed to meet first outside and see what happens, no pressure but she was overthinking. Then I asked her to propose another day if she wants to see each other again and she was like “I have classes until 10 maybe next weekend “.
I kept my frame that it’s like tonight or it might not happen. She was saying I’m pushy, I kept the fun but ended the call as nothing would come out.
I didn’t want to textgame and see how I could push on the phone. I was maybe impatient and should change strategy next time I have a solid number.

My French sf fantasm is to have a 3some, I proposed to look for a girl on tinder but she’s not sure anymore when I talk about creating the account, #noballs
I will wait she comes back to me to fuck and focus more on having new targets.
Same for the German which is on holiday

Next week:
Goal is to go out more and be super social
Be completely detached from gaming and talk with anyone
Focus on my mental exercises (NLP) to control my emotions

#AccountabilityWeek24 #Ben
Summary: action, stable emotions :), 1 date with KC

Monday
Last Philo class after 9 session I don’t remember much. I was in this kind of awake sleep state #lackofinvolvment It may still help in my sub-conscious and can use it as a momentum

Tuesday
Tony Robbins related conference was great, energizing and inspiring 🙂
Dating this lawyer, I NC 2weeks ago in Gent, she has a really cute face. She flaked already… This time we were supposed to meet somewhere and she re-plans I done the effort to still go (20min detour). Connection wasn’t crazy, some shy kinos from my side, thought about pushing for the kiss but wouldn’t succeed I think, also tried to get in the idea to be invited to her flat close by.
Texting with the Spanish who’s teasing me
I could get mad about not fucking these dates but I manage my emotions pretty well 🙂

Wednesday
With Matt started with Ukranian afterwork where I open this girl in a group of friends, we stayed into quite long, mainly speaking with a French guy. Tried another convo in a 2set but too noisy for me to build connection
Creepiest kept going at delirium where I open these 2set, asking if there were having a date. Then I was saying shit about raping, actually trolling but being too sarcastic the fun was not there but more freaking her out, switched with the other girl, better connection but still difficulties to understand each other. Another open for the action but stuck in the same frame. Heading out a guy ask if I want cocaine, that sum up pretty well the WTF evening. Nothing went well but I take it with the laugh as I manage better my emotions 🙂

Thursday
Impro class where nice, in my head at the beginning but then fun and laugh.
Spirito with Adrian, opened the first girl I saw sitting alone but left when a guy joined, I could have introduced myself to him. It wasn’t crowded I open another group and recognized my Cro ex fuckbuddy was in. Quick convo and open a 2set but they didn’t care even if we insisted. I wanted to do one last open on the dancefloor before leaving, a tall black guy was with 4girls. I ask him if he’s afraid by them or if he is the bodyguard. He was cool and underlined that I was an opportunist. He was a stranger to the group actually, I talk fast to the group with my classic cold reading from where they coming and focus on the closest on my right. We get tactile fast and after 5min convo I go for the NC, I suggested a sport activity together…
Delirium I open this group with this girl with a scarf like she kills animals and enter in the frame that it’s hair from all ex boyfriends. Good connection but I don’t calibrate and do the emotional elevator like you’re a fuck and then I love you. 2nd time I said fuck she left…
Opened this Dutch duo, with my question if they are on a date, sit down fast and keep close contact. She accepts for a time but then give distance, it’s actually her birthday I thought about living a kiss for that but didn’t feel it. They were staying for 3days, something was possible but my wing was tired and I followed him.

Friday
Swimming pool getting better
Dating this girl from Tinder, meet at Bourse at 18h for Christmas Market, move to Saint gery, talk about her cooking skills. Bring her to my flat, just by leading and acting natural no resistance. Eating a pizza and heading to my room, tried to get closer. She finally gives me the massage I suggested for my back pain. She was quite nervous with eye contact. I kissed her it was not very smooth touch her boobs, tried for the pussy several times being more patient but didn’t wanted to lose time as it was already 21h.
She is barely fuckable I should respect myself more but I wanted some training on my pull skills. Maybe she’ll invite me to her place for a dish we talked about
Passed by the meetup talked with guys and girl but no connection
Delirium I was stuck in my fucking head, 1 open about her looking like she comes out of work no convo and one small about a group where girl is really drunk
I got 2 invitations to open like several eye contact or smile but ran away lol!.
I wanted to leave the place so badly but also knew I’ll be mad to go home at 23h. I follow the rsd group doing funny open stuff it inspired me to open this group of 10 young Spanish with “are you doing a gangbang? ” !! Keeping my frame talking about playboy mansion, girls are like “ok what do you want, you can leave now…” I keep my ‘I don’t give a fuck attitude’ and say “I’m good here the street is to everyone”. They don’t move and Kevin join me. He’s doing a good cold reading job and entertain the group. Their group split and leave we go to nua, there I compliment a Dutch about her shoes. Her friend is more into me and very kind we speak for long time, I go the authenticity eye contact she stop before really crying. It was intense, I could have tried to escalate more and go for a kiss outside, cute face but a little chubby, NC still. On the dancefloor we dance like mofos with Rinor, some direct approach and a boyfriend getting scared by me.
I also take the number of the Spanish I saw again and want to Mezzo.
I do direct game there with 2 and short convo with one but boyfriend. I was in a good state at this time.
While leaving, I open outside a cute Belgian, funny convo I insist for the number but cold.

Saturday
I try to date the Dutch NC from Nua but cold.
La bodega starting at 23h good idea from Matt to change from center. Demographics are better, more mature and better balance guys/girls
Open the first 3 set I saw, short convo then a cutie was alone waiting for friends who never appeared so we talked for a bit nothing crazy fun and took the number.
Another open with a crazy energy girl who wanted to dance a lot.
The on the dancefloor open short convo, then funny convo with German about me being gay and doing a 3some
Finally found a cutie fitting my taste, she was quite intrigued and relaunched the convo but I didn’t connect much with her sadly. She followed friend couple to bar but her friend stayed I make a hug with her and try to get convo about deep passion. I could have push more but I was totally in the other which I insisted to get attention when she was back. Still struggling so I went for the number as we wanted to leave. One last convo with an Italian with boyfriend.
Nua some opens and short convos but the difference of population made me realize that we are not that congruent in this place

Sunday
Started Watching Rsdmax textgame
Freeletics work out
Relaunched some targets but cold…

4weeks without FC/ target chances:
Agathe Tinder KC, FC 60%
Israelian Adopte KC,busy, FC 50%
Pauline recently single, date planned tuesday 50%
Anna Tournai, date to plan with FC 40%
Ange steampunk flake with excuse, date later 30%
Tessa dated + touched, FC 30%
Emily Fetish, date 20%

Next week:
Keep work on my emotions, discipline myself with smartphone, READ !
Study for my certification
Try other approaches and style, be more sexual

#AccountabilityWeek26 #Ben
Summary: action and great time!
dating, getting laid, studying…

Monday
Meeting my ex German sexfriend, she wanted to meet outside and chose a location which was closed!
I ask her to lead then, she said we can walk or talk in the street for 5min…
She was not comfortable at all.
I let her talk and she’s surprisingly me telling me that I manipulated her and used her.
I ask for several examples to understand her point of view! “I was not treating her like a human being.” I recognized being pushy at the first date but she was willing to see me again around 5 times.
It was the girl I was carrying the most about, I never forced her to come having orgasms.
WTF she’s smart but I think her friends completely fucked up her mind without clear perspective. She was almost crying I wanted to hug her kindly, she says I disrespect her again. No pressure I didn’t force her in any physical way. Clearly a lack of communication in this relationship, at least I can completely be detached from her.

Delirium with Adrian, opening the first group I see, some drunk Spanish girls, short convo and deep eye contact to play with her. I was confident and not giving a fuck 🙂 My wing got offered some shoot by a guy then we walk around, it’s quite empty. Downstairs I’m about to decide to leave as we see only dicks, we still go until the end. There I see 2 girls with one smiling a lot, I open like looking deeply at one and trying to guess who’s hitting on who with me “are you on a date” opener!
In less than a minute I feel something in this Polish girl she’s keeping long beautiful eye contact while being very sexual and close I fluff about sex topics.
I make her stand up from the chair, my wing instinctively takes her seat keeping the convo with the other. She shits test me about being with my wing and hitting on girls here. I’m congruent and she tries to switch topic as the sexual tension is too high for her. I keep standing really close, she’s express it so I back up far.
I have the Spanish coming to my place so try to go for the number she’s doing the hard to get. I lead to isolate her like 5 meters further the we seat, I touch her leg she first says nothing then ask me to remove it, I say do it if you really want it, she gently does. Can’t get her hornier at this point and should have freeze out but I have to leave. Saying bye going close to lips but don’t force the kiss and feels she kind of escaped. Facebook closed, she’s a cutie. Happy for my wing who managed to kiss the friend correctly 🙂

My place we laugh with the Spanish around a tea and we go in my room where she helps me studying with my certification on the bed. For now, she keeps standing far, I want to cut the bullshit and start to touch her a lot she rejects me kindly. It’s late I want to sleep but want to try. Tickling her and then getting bossy, she tries to escape. I dominate and block, touch her pussy first on her clothes whiles she’s trying to struggle to leave. I keep pushing and finger her, she’s so wet but keeping blocking me with the hands. I try to lick her boobs at the same time but can’t really undress her, tried to kiss on the mouth and realized that she’s really blocked.
I could have push further but even if she’s horny, I don’t fuck without mutual kiss, good limit I think.
I push more to open herself and explain me wtf. She’s a sexual addict for 4years (sometimes fucking unprotected up to 10guys in a week-end) and was abused in the past or raped didn’t get the full story, she was treated in hospital etc…
You could say she’s a fucked-up bitch, she likes to test and play with guys… From my perspective she’s also smart and a fun person to be with.
Interesting experience anyway, might see her again just to talk, I can control myself

Tuesday
Seeing this girl from OD, we knew what will happen I was relaxed. She was kind and brought me some chocolate.
I had trouble to get really hard, first time :/. Body is nice and cute face but the teeth are killing it.
She was good at sex, I was talking too much for her at a point she said “shut up!”.
Connection wasn’t crazy, she was not doing so much eye contact.
We came once and a second time together so it was still cool.
She’s quite experienced and had sex 2days ago also.
Shower and eating together she doesn’t like my food (pasta/eggs/cheese), so don’t eat and is hungry so she leaves and we don’t do any second round :/
I was feeling a little bit frustrated and empty by just having sex only once and so easy. Looks like I may appreciate more when I will have to handle with lmr again next time, crazy isn’t it!
Heading to Delirium looking at girls I feel like “I just had sex I’m great”, I think about approaching but get some excuses not to act like parents/friends are nearby, she’s on the phone…
Arriving there, no excuses first set of Algerians short basic convo, I actually exit myself as I don’t feel any interest talking with them…
Then a few opens with Daan, French girls without real energy or willing to invest in the convo…
My energy dropped quite fast seeing this sad or low mood tourists!
I didn’t want to put much effort either to really get to know them

Wednesday
My friend from Lyon visit me, we eat some space cake.
I pass the night with my French, I have one the best sex of my life (drugs helped I guess), good sensations :)).
I tell her my feelings, she never really cared. No sensation of missing me even if she really enjoys having good time together.
She doesn’t give a fuck in a way… I’m learning to do the same
And it’s no because she has other fuckbuddy in the same time, I got attached she didn’t that’s it! Even if we already shared fun around 10times since August…
People are so different it’s interesting

Thursday
Last impro class with new people I wasn’t that confident anymore…
Electro Party with some nice girls but group of friends mainly speaking NL and not that willing to talk. Some opens and short convos still
Plux I almost get punched by a retarded drunk guy when I talk to a girl smiling at me, her friends apologized later. I freak out a girl gently with my straight forward thoughts.
My dear wing Adrian was good vibing I was not able to put that level of energy.

Friday
Went to the languages meetup with a friend. Funny to see guys fighting to talk with the prettiest. Talked to some polish milf and before leaving short convo and took the fb from an Armenian smiling at me.
Delirium I open with “are you doing a 3some” they have no 2nd degree and invite me kindly to get the fuck out.
We stand outside and the whole rsd guys, around 15, are out tonight! A guy is making out crazy, like they will fuck in the street… funny to watch.
Convo with a French tourist but I don’t sexualize enough.
Getting better with a Swedish group but facebook close not solid.
Fun time dancing with RSD bros at Nua, I try to push the convo on a German but I miss the fun to attract her
Passed by Mezzo trying some fast seduction and proposing 3some to girls in front of bar next my door, not calibrated and poor chances of success but who knows (no FOMO) …

Saturday
Dating this 34yo from OD, she’s on time offers me a drink and open to talk freely and joke about allusions to sex. She drives me back to her flat where she massages me and I give her some orgasms. She’s chubby and not feminine but I was still excited, I don’t regret as she’s cool and it was an experience.

House party at the Polish (from Monday) place, there was some lesbians and girls in couple. My target was ignoring me quite long, I was trying to vibe with her friends, not that easy… Hopefully I went with 2 wings. I take her apart to have proper convo, looks like she doesn’t really know what she wants, we get interrupted several times and at the end she prefers dancing with friends than finishing this discussion.
Context wasn’t the easiest to isolate and get physical.

Delirium some socializing convo and then alone to Celitica, Bar des amis and Mezzo where not in my head I open detached and fun but can’t connect with people. Convo with a girl whot at least admit that it was nice to talk but don’t want to stay in touch.
Coming back home happy no feeling of missing out or frustration 🙂

Sunday
Freeletics workout I start to get in shape 🙂
Seeing my Romanian, her periods were on the end it was still messy so I made her comfortable. Again, nice foreplay, good sex and great convo. She opens herself about her past, me also, really interesting. First time I’m so connected intellectually with a girl

Next week:
Read ! Work on my emotions and discipline
Pass my certification
Try other approaches and style, be more sexual, dance…

#AccountabilityWeek28 #Ben

Summary: intense sports, action but not smart enough to have concrete results

Monday
I was reading some pdf on sex related topics, got horny, and was about to propose to have sex with an old ‘not so pretty’ lay
Hopefully my friend invested in “energies topics” was around and we talked for quite long time about interesting stuff related to health and body.
I decided to not go out as I was still sick and the idea this week is to focus less on game (action is good, smart action is better 🙂 )

Tuesday
14km running in an awesome National Parc, I really enjoyed it.
Still I needed to take some pic and vids for validation, to show other -> would like to work on self-pleasure without ego involved
Watched rsd “truth about success” while driving, great time optimization
I was inspired to read (“no excuses BT”) but a little bit tired so I decided to still go out. Without hard intentions to game, just to take air be present and aware. Understand How I feel. This may sound like overthinking but it may help me. Walking around in Delirium I try to see if I’m inspired to talk to some people. Found 2girls playing a drinking game, I was just curious to see what the rule and who’s winning. I let them have fun together and exit quick. Then quick convo with a group of Swiss guys drinking water, I was curious why, it’s after shoots.
On the way back, I see 2nice girls walking in the street, I could have definitely open but waited too long and was already trying to think what I will say.
Outcome: I’m not mad about not taking much action. Should I? because I just try to put excuses by saying I accept not being social?
Well for sure if you don’t talk to people how do you improve your conversational skills…
Going out alone is not easy but I will face this step by step.
The fear I have to open group of friends alone is to not be interesting enough or that it doesn’t make sense to bother them. And if I go talk to them what’s my intention. Do I enjoy to talk to strangers or I just force myself to get better?
How I will manage to connect with people while traveling? (lots of questions tonight!)

Wednesday
Swimming I was more stressed about the breathing in Crawl, struggled to do 100m.
Got stuck to define my life goals
Felt lonely, relaunched 5wings to not go out alone, busy or no answer and got affected :/
Also went back to my French SF not around, will relaunch her next week. Even if I’m demanding and look needy, I like her and know if I don’t do it I may not see her before I leave
Video games, it’s been 6month haven’t tried, gta5 wasn’t launching and got bored fast by others installed.
Delirium with JC and Nelson, some opens, convo with French no connection

Thursday
Plux with Daan, Vincent, Ryan. Some open short convo miss the hook, then Viage action but struggled to keep convo.
Delirium fun convo with French group, took FB

Friday
Swimming manage finally to crawl 200m without stop 🙂
Tried to date the Fr FBclose but she wanted to stay with friends…
Meetup practicing empathy in long convo with a cutie from UK, FBclose for a run.
Classic round in center at least one approach per location, some convo but leading nowhere

Saturday
Halles with 2friends to chill, I was already thinking which girl I could approach. I finally went for a 2set of french convo but I lack of building comfort and one girl was freaking out the way I was looking at her.
Same issue at bar des amis where a girl is saying I’m staring into her eyes.
Bonnefoi we seat and look at others, Mezzo same I was about to take action but wanted to change behavior, not gaming for once. Just reading into people and understanding if my usual direct approaches would make sense on the girl I was interested, in this context I guessed no.

Sunday
Workout struggling a lot with push ups. Saw this girl running I should have approach, was thinking/regretting way too long in my head.
Dinner at Kevin then out in center, some convos with mainly girls already in a couple.

Summary of 2017:
Met some great bros, thanks RSD. Made good friends

Survived the break up with my ex (could have manage the complete radio silence and not fucking her twice again)
Went out of depression, better health, sleep only 6h, more sports, well paid job, impro and philo classes
Travelled to Amsterdam, Budapest, Lyon, Lille
Stayed in my job as planned to not give up easy and took the decision to travel next year instead of doing things I don’t like
Statistics:
Slept with 7girls (30 sex sessions) since July:
3 ONS from online (2 not pretty, 1 ok but didn’t insist to see her again)
1 great sf (awesome sex, sometimes 4/night but no feelings outside from her, I did :/) 12
1 really cute sf (made some mistakes and got really attached, she also but was protecting herself) 7
1 good sf (strong connection, normal sex) 4
1 average sf (poor connection, normal sex) 6

Results to compare with the long period I was out 6times/week invested for >2h

Good memories: abundance the week I had 4dates, the day I kiss 1 and have sex with 2others, the best sex so far when I was under space cake effect
The fun with my wings and their support

Overall improvements to work on:
Emotions balance, fun being social, energy level, discipline, life balance, goals

#AccountabilityWeek30 #Ben

Summary: sports, action, flakes

Monday
Reading, Trail 20km, got flaked
Delirium with Kevin, open this group of Spanish. 1 was touching me a lot, she was quite tipsy. We lead them to a restaurant with Leon (nice to meet you), where the vibing is difficult as they don’t speak very well English. Could have isolate for make out but even if some kinos the connection wasn’t crazy as difficult to understand each other.

Tuesday
Swimming listening to my body not pushed much
Met Leon nice chat, open girls celebrating birthday, short convo and exit as they were sitting and didn’t wanted to annoy.
Meet up stand-up comedy, bar crazy crowded, can’t find the group, so alone but back pain/feeling so comfy, humour was about sex and seduction. Could have bounce easily about into convo but no mood to open…
Bar des amis, Delirium some open with convo dying as I don’t put enough energy to make it fun.

Wednesday
Energy session to unlock subconscious blockages.
Afterwork meetup with Adrian, met again the cutie from last week, vibing with her friend also. My dear wing was doing a great job to keep the energy level 🙂
She surprisingly chased us in the street as we proposed to join us at Deli but she was going to her friend so we left no waiting her!
There rsd guys around, giving social proof, I settle a date for Saturday. Nua one set and one quick convo in the street.

Thursday
Swimming better shape, perf will get better
Theater with Adrian and Nelson to support JC performance!
Vibkes, I was not in my head really feeling good, plenty of opens. Some short convo with kinos but nothing leading to something.
Maybe lack of persistence and could have re-open.

Friday
15km run
Socializing at this meetup, mostly IT guys talking about guess what, IT…
I wanted to improve my empathic skills so I listened to this musician talking about this passion but I didn’t give much care… Didn’t talk to any girl to change 🙂
Deli where my coach was filming too obviously girl where like wtf, it kind of pissed me off. Some convo with a Spanish I could have asked to sit next to her same with a group of 3 where I exit myself. Should push more

Saturday
Got flaked (again, keeping emotions stable to be detached)
5 street approaches for the video again, 1number and 1fb. Open was usually “Hey, I just saw you & wanted to talk / see if you are interesting / do you know how difficult it is for a guy to approach girls. Then I was bouncing on the fact it’s better to meet IRL than Tinder
Met a friend to talk and discover new bar, short time in deli with some approaches not going somewhere.

Sunday
Visited Luxembourg, will propose a date with a German from blablacar, connection was nice.
Romanian sf was like just come for “tea and talk” because period, took us some time to bed but anal sex (without condom this time) was really good. She was still wondering if she likes it or not, it’s new for her so feels strange about it but her orgasms where stating the truth here. I’m glad she’s open minded and I made discovered new pleasure. We talked again about seeing each other monthly when I’m out of Belgium, unclear yet.
I felt in good shape after sex, no energy drop, interesting….

Next week:
Enjoy my last 2weeks in Belgium without putting too much pressure for results but still keep action !