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#AccountabilityWeek31 #Ben
Summary: dates, 2tinder lays, action, girls in tears!
Monday
Great mood and shape
Swimming breaking my record
Got flaked by Cro sexfriend
Tinder date, 3days ago she gave me her whatsapp after 3message, there I left 1audio saying I prefer to meet IRL than textgame, she agreed.
We date near my place, I chose the location to sit which was comfy for social pressure but difficult to do kinos in these beach chair. After 1h of convo pretty serious, I try to switch to fun and sex. She’s not that comfortable about me looking her deep in the eyes, we do the eye contact connection exercise I almost have tears dafuq. I finally manage to touch her knee and her hand, she responds well, I still stay patient and subtle. I lead her outside to show a tourist thing around, then in front of my door I suggest to go up for a drink, no resistance. In the elevator I make her stop (nervous) talking and go for the kiss.
In my room things are going smooth, no strong LMR, I take my time. Starting with massage and then fingering her, I didn’t push to give her an orgasm. I wanted to make her take initiative but no sex since November she was quite shy and not comfortable to open fully. Sex was quite weird no connection anymore at a point, still excited I suddenly came and left it here… Face was nice but body was not to my standards, might still see her again to learn more of the experience.Tuesday
Trail 23km 800+, wanted to push, found my limits: I injured my knee a little
1 flake from last week was supposed to date again but she didn’t invest much, I prioritized a new tinder date.
The game was pretty much the same as Monday: -before: no strong text game just few audios. -during date: I managed to talk faster about sex and kinos. No LMR to get up to my flat, kiss in the elevator, massage on the bed. Some slight resistance like she feels bad about this, I added some comfort and the multi orgasmic girl started to riding me well. She was quite active to fuck me 🙂 but bad blowjob. She thanks me for the orgasms, long time I didn’t receive this validation, always appreciated. After she started to cry, I was comprehensive and tried to get wtf, she had a great moment but also regretted it at the same time. Bisexual, no sex for 6month but she masturbates daily. She usually does only ONS. Quite smart, her constant smile and laugh is hiding some internal problems. Cute face but as too fat for me, I proposed to see her again not sure will happen.
Went to Deli with Adrian, I was in this after sex sleepy state and the few open done were not leading anywhere with my low energy.Wednesday
Afterwork meetup, short convo with Russian but boyfriend, didn’t stay long as I was too tempted to see my Sexfriend again.
I asked her to dress sexy, she did, no talking and sex asap was my frame. We had really great time again, she was so wet and again anal appreciated, always clean. After sex I tell her about the 2girls. She gets pissed off and ended crying. (2nd one in 2day wow). I wanted to be true and she wasn’t showing much investment about coming to see me if I’m not in Brussels. She was more attached than I thought and had feelings as me. I’m making love and acting like in a couple with my sf and that put this grey zone, not casual sex but no romance and this is difficult to make last (getting fucked up around after 7dates). Poor chance to see her again. I try to remember the best, learn from it and NEXT.Thursday
Swimming, nice improvements, happy 🙂
Went to this stand-up comedy, bar was crowded as fuck and no air, one guy make me laugh then left fast
Plux seen again 2 guys from previous meetups, quick chat but was not interested. Situational open the girl was receptive but nothing to say on my side Opened this girl with hand of god and are you heterosexual line, she had boyfriend. Some other akward quick convo leading nowhere, I wasn’t not that much in my head and didn’t exit sets. But I guess people were reading on my face I’m pissed off being here, even if I was trying to smile. Too noisy, smoke, drunk people well excuses but it was terrible for me even if I wanted to go out because I was mostly home.Friday
Meetup talking with this Asian girl, trump handshake she plays it really tough then we do arm wrestling contest! Talking about tinder, practicing my German. Eye contact challenge she cries (3rd one this week I’m such a pimp right 🙂 ), so many tears crazy. Then I hug her and try to go for subtle kinos but she’s less open and don’t want to go outside. NC, my game was good nice interaction giving me faith for the evening.
Delirium 3french I vibe good and guess their Job and town, a lot of fun but convo end up by dying. Could have isolate and while hesitating between targets one with boyfriend and other got cold…
Funny convo with 2romanians, improvising great, bouncing on shit tests, I drive the tipsy one crazy, I was in the flow but teasing too much not seriously they left when paki came with flowers and saying she should be the gentleman buying them to me!
Mezzo looking how people dance and done some direct game with no outpout. Good night 🙂Saturday
Reset my tinder accounts and manage to kick myself to go out daygame.
I invented some excuses to not go (too young, too old, no thinking it worth it) for 5 I’ve seen could have like, almost run after one but… no.
Trying to not put too much pressure and stay out of my head I stayed like 5min at grand place watching people, I see this girl not in a hurry, after 2min I finally open with “are you waiting for the run or … the sun”. Convo is going I’m chilled but I talk too much instead of listening. I open another tourist but she had to go for the walking tour. I will try do this every day until I leave Brussels, felt good coming back home.
Delirium Adrian is opening a lot gg, I vibe with a young but lack of sexu, I put my number in her phone. I see again the girl from daygame but she’s escaping me to join her friends…
Bar des amis, French group, great convo with one who is rofl on my lines. Cute smile I really liked her she was into me, got number but could have go with her and try for the kiss when she went alone to order at the bar.
Via via with JC 2 flemish, no comply on my eye contact game. I still vibe well with one, tried to lead but when some wings say by they take the opportunity to leave. One last awkward set and then we joined Nelson and his gf, I was in my head, could have be more present for fun with friends.Sunday
Planning my last possible dates.
Freelectics workout I was in shape, invited the Asian and drive her back home. We dated after the shower, convo and connection wasn’t crazy but I learned at little bit about Vietnam and worked on my escalation. She was sitting very far and knew the road will be long to get closer
The hand on her knee was 2times rejected, then accepted longer but rejected again, my hand in her back was more ok. Difficult to push more so I lead her to my flat and of course LMR right in the entry, I just don’t give a fuck and say she’s free to go but I’m entering, she hesitates for a minute but babystep comes. While I keep talking about travel she follows me from far to final door.
Sitting on my bed I go on my music routine with short meditation and I ask her for a massage (I put the idea in her head before but she was like no). After I want to massage her as well but she doesn’t want to remove the shirt. I didn’t insist much, just saying like if you go to swimming you also so shy and go with clothes… She wants to leave so I make her sit on my knees to go for a kiss but “I’m not ready” even after all the comfort I built it still too fast for Asian culture. Last push on the bed being dominant jumping on her I didn’t want to scare her so I let her escape. She’s missing out, not sure that with a better game and more patience it would have been really possible to fuck her…
Next week:
Amsterdam rsdfreetour
Got some dates planned for my last week, smells good 🙂#AccountabilityWeek32 #Ben
Summary: dates, 1 lay, action, sexfriends !
Monday
Dating German from blablacar
She was showing slight interest by touching me back sometimes but within the 2hours I took too much time to escalate. Kino on legs and touching hands, strong eye contact but she wasn’t comfortable. I think I talked more than her and didn’t put enough fun. Leading her outside I try for the kiss and feels I are not contacting you back…
She was a lot in her head but still came a few times, I didn’t enjoy that much as her pussy wasn’t that tight and she was too tired to improve on having second round.Tuesday
Invited to the flat of the French from last Saturday.
Had a car accident before nothing serious but I was not in the best mood.
We eat together, I do some kinos, she can’t look me in the eyes.
She has relationships issue with her father and have a sexfriend for 7years…
Leading to Sex after massages on the bed. No lmr, she was DTF, sex was average.
Her pussy was not shaved, she doesn’t want to make efforts anymore and was complaining guys are fucking her but not contacting after lol.Wednesday
Depression day
Went to Meditation center workshop about emotions
Delirium no open
Saint gery 3set and nice talk with smart girl from science poThursday
Amsterdam julien freetour was very commercial and didn’t make much sense as I have TM program. Wasn’t impressed by his vibe or presence, maybe too far in the room. 1 daygame open and 1 dancingFriday
Amsterdam visit was cool in the present moment, 3 daygame opens1 long convo with brazilian at Saint Géry, I lead but she didn’t comply to sit with me, I was maybe too stubborn so we kept talking me sitting her up, expected this small effort from her but I dropped it.
1 street open, 4guys of us gaming now 2girls lol
Bar des amis, they join us later I vibe and go for FB, 2 of my wing take it as well after (make no sense for me, anyway)
Viavia I open without talking, it works, I vibe with this Italian talking more than 1h about relationships, eye contact but not kinos, she’s into me and interesting.
We lead them to bar des amis which is closing, I keep walking in front of the group, at a point they stop and say bye to Adrian. I say by from far, she asked me to come, I tell her to do. I hug and kiss then lead to my home. No strong LMR while walking for 2min, then in my flat. “I don’t know what I’m doing”, “I will sit on your chair”. “I have to leave in 2min” I’m on the bed, kiss her again and go fast for full kinos. Fingering her, she’s very excited, I try to undress her the top no comply and she freaks out.
Freeze out, go again for pussy no way. Push one last time she finally relaxes I take her hand to blow me, I look her in the eyes and do some sexy talk. I was almost about to come, so intense. I wanted to see her boobs so tried to remove the top, and mistake that was too much for her she runs out and leave.
I was difficult to go for eating her, she was less in her mind by finger but each time either top or removing panties she came back in reality :/
Good first night pull for the “experience”, she was average pretty…Saturday
Just awesome sex afternoon with my French sf
Indoor Skydive nice experience
Bar des amis silent openers, weird 🙂
‘De hunde’ talked with a sexologue who was already annoyed by my sex talk and was racist against french lol
Saw the Polish girl who already invited me to her party but was cold, I dance, kiss her in the neck/ears and failed by trying the mouth…
My dear wing Adrian finally fucked the target I helped him, really happy for you broSunday
Freeletics workout I was quite tired but pushed
Cro sexfriend, well it’s the first girl I slept after my break up, here we are 6months later and this experience taught me that I won’t do this mistake again. This girl is an LSE with really poor sex life, smart good job but with lot of problems and didn’t bring me much apart from easy average sex to release my pulsion.
I promise myself that I won’t fall into this trap of spending time with low quality girl by default because of sexual misery.
I deserve better and will instead spend this time to work on myself to be a better person to attract better people in my life.This week is closing my accountability challenge here.
I will keep the habit of doing a diary to review every day of my life each Sunday.
I want to be grateful for all the awesome people I met from RSD Belgium.I’m not good for goodbye but I will be back, either in some events around the world or passing by Belgium later to catch up again 😉
Thanks brosMars:
Les news, cette fois en Français mais mal écrit !
Déjà 1mois et demi après mon retour en France
Mes objectifs :-santé:
check-up ok, début du nouveau traitement (fatigue à suivre avec augmentation dose)
Les piqures ne sont pas pratiques pour voyager :/
1mois de jeun intermittent avec succès, pas de changement notable-sport :
Démarrage street workout
5min de planche pour abdos, rythme quotidien respecté
Natation et course à pied 1*/semaine-dev
Meditation 10min/ jour
Lecture:/ -> discipline à prendre pour impérativement lire 1h/jour-voyage :
Barcelone bilan mitigé, météo moyenne, j’ai rencontré peu de gens et difficile de vraiment connecter
*Séduction : 1FC via couchsurfing, intelligente mais pas mon style physiquement
Motivé qu’à moitié pour fournir les efforts alors que l’objectif c’était de coucher un max
En boite : action sans résultat dû à un manque de fun
Street : pas assez d’action, état d’esprit à revoir pour aborder-game :
Tinder et adopte c’est mort… réfléchir à payer…
Je suis sorti dans ma campagne, quelques rencontres, il faut que je persisteLa suite :
Passage à Bruxelles pour coucher avec mon ex (lol, à défaut d’abondance), une sexfriend (elle me manque un peu j’ai hâte de lui faire sa fête) et revoir des potes
Ski pour me faire plaisir
Islande 2nd voyage solo pour me testerReprendre sérieusement le travail sur mes émotions, moral en dents de scie (passages dépressifs)
Vision long terme à projeter (relations, avenir pro ?)Gratitude (oui aussi un point de travail):
Je suis encore perdu mais plus positif et me force à bougerAvril:
1mois de transition (bilan assez négatif mais je poste pour l’historique, bientôt 3ans que j’écris ici )-santé :
Traitement toujours pas stabilisé:/ Début tendinite épaule-sport :
Rythme maintenu, consistance à améliorer sans forcer-dev
Meditation non respecté pendant les voyages
Lecture seulement lu David Deida-voyages
Bruxelles, cool de revoir des gens. La sexfriend que je souhaitais voire avait ses règles et ne voyait pas l’intérêt de se voir, j’étais bien déçu, je lui accordais trop d’attention et d’importance
Le ski, j’étais très fatigué par les médocs et pas d’humeur mais j’ai bien fait le fou à 130km/h
L’Islande était un beau road trip, pas aussi émerveillé que certaines personnes qui en parlent mais content de l’avoir fait. Des rencontres via couchsurfing, 1 polonaise où je me suis fait cock-block, on était à la piscine j’ai eu du mal à rester zen
1 italienne où je n’arrivais pas à connecter émotionnellement mais j’avais envie d’elle, je me suis fait inviter pour un thé dans sa chambre, manque de tactile de ma part, pas poussé non plus pour qu’elle m’héberge car colocs et je voulais avancer sur ma route
1 polonaise qui me plaisait bien, on a dormi dans la même pièce mais délicat car coloc dans chambre à côté. Peu du rejet et d’avoir un avis négatif si je montre mes intentions trop maladroitement. Le 2e jour j’étais plus fun et tactile mais mon vol était proche. Regret de ne pas avoir montré mes intentions. Elle a confirmé être ravi de m’avoir rencontré mais n’a pas répondu pour échanger le fb, peut-être elle est déçue que je n’ai pas posé mes couilles ou je me fais des films et elle ne voyait rien de plus qu’une rencontre amicale éphémère. J’ai fait un début d’OI, limite larmes à l’aéroport, elle partageait des valeurs similaires et j’aimerais la revoir-game
Misère sexuelle
Aucune action, à part une soirée où j’ai rigolé devant du théâtre d’impro et un peu sociabilisé
Je n’ai pas réinstallé Tinder, consulte adopte (gratuit) de temps à autre pour visites
Retour masturbation, je me suis rediscipliné, pas de nofap complet mais uniquement 1* /dimanche soir
Positif Chlamydia, de l’espagnole je pense. Brulures à miction, parties après antibios
Discipline à suivre pour écouter les audio pour changer subconscient pendant sommeilLa suite :
Barcelone 15jours de coaching game, grosses attentes au vu de l’investissement. J’espère avoir vraiment changé après cette expérience, je dois me responsabiliser pour donner le maxRetour de Barcelone, je réfléchis à 2fois avant d’écrire …
Social prime ne sont pas très organisés mais j’ai appris des choses
Ce qui m’a choqué dès le 1er jour c’est l’état d’esprit demandé : confiance dans le process et ne pas avoir d’attentes.
J’étais très sceptique et à la fin des 15jours, je me sentais frustré et énervé d’avoir fait tant d’efforts sans voir les résultats.
Mais ils sont là, intérieurement, mes boucles mentales négatives m’empêchent d’en prendre vraiment conscience
J’ai découvert ma peur de la réussite confirmée par mon habitude de la peur de l’échec.
La compréhension émotionnelle par la pratique : questionner ses penser, ses émotions pour se demander si on est bien honnête et s’en détacher. La force du programme est de se rendre compte que toutes les techniques de séduction ne sont qu’un artifice et que je suis naturellement capable de séduire en étant moi-même dénué de toutes les pensées négatives d’auto sabotage.
L’acceptation et le lâcher prise, des termes maintes fois entendu ou lu mais qui prennent un peu plus de sens quand tu arrives à internaliser leur compréhension
La pratique constante de la méditation et de la visualisation me donnera des résultats à long terme, je respecte bien les exercicesCe travail sur moi-même est infini et je ne peux que m’améliorer en modifiant ma façon de penser
J’ai réussi à coucher 2jours après mon retour en étant honnête et naturel
J’ai avoué à mon ex l’avoir trompé et dévoilé ce journalOn dirait que j’évite les propos négatifs dans mon récit, ce qui est inhabituel mais une bonne chose.
J’ai souvent pensé que l’approche équilibré est plus pertinente (bilan : positif – négatif)Je remets un peut tout en question : ce journal m’aide ? quels détails y écrire ?
Dans le doute je m’arrête là, jusqu’aux prochaines bonnes nouvelles 😊
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