Ben

Mars:
Les news, cette fois en Français mais mal écrit !
Déjà 1mois et demi après mon retour en France
Mes objectifs :

-santé:
check-up ok, début du nouveau traitement (fatigue à suivre avec augmentation dose)
Les piqures ne sont pas pratiques pour voyager :/
1mois de jeun intermittent avec succès, pas de changement notable

-sport :
Démarrage street workout
5min de planche pour abdos, rythme quotidien respecté
Natation et course à pied 1*/semaine

-dev
Meditation 10min/ jour
Lecture:/ -> discipline à prendre pour impérativement lire 1h/jour

-voyage :
Barcelone bilan mitigé, météo moyenne, j’ai rencontré peu de gens et difficile de vraiment connecter
*Séduction : 1FC via couchsurfing, intelligente mais pas mon style physiquement
Motivé qu’à moitié pour fournir les efforts alors que l’objectif c’était de coucher un max
En boite : action sans résultat dû à un manque de fun
Street : pas assez d’action, état d’esprit à revoir pour aborder

-game :
Tinder et adopte c’est mort… réfléchir à payer…
Je suis sorti dans ma campagne, quelques rencontres, il faut que je persiste

La suite :
Passage à Bruxelles pour coucher avec mon ex (lol, à défaut d’abondance), une sexfriend (elle me manque un peu j’ai hâte de lui faire sa fête) et revoir des potes
Ski pour me faire plaisir
Islande 2nd voyage solo pour me tester

Reprendre sérieusement le travail sur mes émotions, moral en dents de scie (passages dépressifs)
Vision long terme à projeter (relations, avenir pro ?)

Gratitude (oui aussi un point de travail):
Je suis encore perdu mais plus positif et me force à bouger

Avril:
1mois de transition (bilan assez négatif mais je poste pour l’historique, bientôt 3ans que j’écris ici )

-santé :
Traitement toujours pas stabilisé:/ Début tendinite épaule

-sport :
Rythme maintenu, consistance à améliorer sans forcer

-dev
Meditation non respecté pendant les voyages
Lecture seulement lu David Deida

-voyages
Bruxelles, cool de revoir des gens. La sexfriend que je souhaitais voire avait ses règles et ne voyait pas l’intérêt de se voir, j’étais bien déçu, je lui accordais trop d’attention et d’importance
Le ski, j’étais très fatigué par les médocs et pas d’humeur mais j’ai bien fait le fou à 130km/h
L’Islande était un beau road trip, pas aussi émerveillé que certaines personnes qui en parlent mais content de l’avoir fait. Des rencontres via couchsurfing, 1 polonaise où je me suis fait cock-block, on était à la piscine j’ai eu du mal à rester zen
1 italienne où je n’arrivais pas à connecter émotionnellement mais j’avais envie d’elle, je me suis fait inviter pour un thé dans sa chambre, manque de tactile de ma part, pas poussé non plus pour qu’elle m’héberge car colocs et je voulais avancer sur ma route
1 polonaise qui me plaisait bien, on a dormi dans la même pièce mais délicat car coloc dans chambre à côté. Peu du rejet et d’avoir un avis négatif si je montre mes intentions trop maladroitement. Le 2e jour j’étais plus fun et tactile mais mon vol était proche. Regret de ne pas avoir montré mes intentions. Elle a confirmé être ravi de m’avoir rencontré mais n’a pas répondu pour échanger le fb, peut-être elle est déçue que je n’ai pas posé mes couilles ou je me fais des films et elle ne voyait rien de plus qu’une rencontre amicale éphémère. J’ai fait un début d’OI, limite larmes à l’aéroport, elle partageait des valeurs similaires et j’aimerais la revoir

-game
Misère sexuelle
Aucune action, à part une soirée où j’ai rigolé devant du théâtre d’impro et un peu sociabilisé
Je n’ai pas réinstallé Tinder, consulte adopte (gratuit) de temps à autre pour visites
Retour masturbation, je me suis rediscipliné, pas de nofap complet mais uniquement 1* /dimanche soir
Positif Chlamydia, de l’espagnole je pense. Brulures à miction, parties après antibios
Discipline à suivre pour écouter les audio pour changer subconscient pendant sommeil

La suite :
Barcelone 15jours de coaching game, grosses attentes au vu de l’investissement. J’espère avoir vraiment changé après cette expérience, je dois me responsabiliser pour donner le max

#AccountabilityWeek31 #Ben

Summary: dates, 2tinder lays, action, girls in tears!

Monday
Great mood and shape
Swimming breaking my record
Got flaked by Cro sexfriend
Tinder date, 3days ago she gave me her whatsapp after 3message, there I left 1audio saying I prefer to meet IRL than textgame, she agreed.
We date near my place, I chose the location to sit which was comfy for social pressure but difficult to do kinos in these beach chair. After 1h of convo pretty serious, I try to switch to fun and sex. She’s not that comfortable about me looking her deep in the eyes, we do the eye contact connection exercise I almost have tears dafuq. I finally manage to touch her knee and her hand, she responds well, I still stay patient and subtle. I lead her outside to show a tourist thing around, then in front of my door I suggest to go up for a drink, no resistance. In the elevator I make her stop (nervous) talking and go for the kiss.
In my room things are going smooth, no strong LMR, I take my time. Starting with massage and then fingering her, I didn’t push to give her an orgasm. I wanted to make her take initiative but no sex since November she was quite shy and not comfortable to open fully. Sex was quite weird no connection anymore at a point, still excited I suddenly came and left it here… Face was nice but body was not to my standards, might still see her again to learn more of the experience.

Tuesday
Trail 23km 800+, wanted to push, found my limits: I injured my knee a little
1 flake from last week was supposed to date again but she didn’t invest much, I prioritized a new tinder date.
The game was pretty much the same as Monday: -before: no strong text game just few audios. -during date: I managed to talk faster about sex and kinos. No LMR to get up to my flat, kiss in the elevator, massage on the bed. Some slight resistance like she feels bad about this, I added some comfort and the multi orgasmic girl started to riding me well. She was quite active to fuck me 🙂 but bad blowjob. She thanks me for the orgasms, long time I didn’t receive this validation, always appreciated. After she started to cry, I was comprehensive and tried to get wtf, she had a great moment but also regretted it at the same time. Bisexual, no sex for 6month but she masturbates daily. She usually does only ONS. Quite smart, her constant smile and laugh is hiding some internal problems. Cute face but as too fat for me, I proposed to see her again not sure will happen.
Went to Deli with Adrian, I was in this after sex sleepy state and the few open done were not leading anywhere with my low energy.

Wednesday
Afterwork meetup, short convo with Russian but boyfriend, didn’t stay long as I was too tempted to see my Sexfriend again.
I asked her to dress sexy, she did, no talking and sex asap was my frame. We had really great time again, she was so wet and again anal appreciated, always clean. After sex I tell her about the 2girls. She gets pissed off and ended crying. (2nd one in 2day wow). I wanted to be true and she wasn’t showing much investment about coming to see me if I’m not in Brussels. She was more attached than I thought and had feelings as me. I’m making love and acting like in a couple with my sf and that put this grey zone, not casual sex but no romance and this is difficult to make last (getting fucked up around after 7dates). Poor chance to see her again. I try to remember the best, learn from it and NEXT.

Thursday
Swimming, nice improvements, happy 🙂
Went to this stand-up comedy, bar was crowded as fuck and no air, one guy make me laugh then left fast
Plux seen again 2 guys from previous meetups, quick chat but was not interested. Situational open the girl was receptive but nothing to say on my side Opened this girl with hand of god and are you heterosexual line, she had boyfriend. Some other akward quick convo leading nowhere, I wasn’t not that much in my head and didn’t exit sets. But I guess people were reading on my face I’m pissed off being here, even if I was trying to smile. Too noisy, smoke, drunk people well excuses but it was terrible for me even if I wanted to go out because I was mostly home.

Friday
Meetup talking with this Asian girl, trump handshake she plays it really tough then we do arm wrestling contest! Talking about tinder, practicing my German. Eye contact challenge she cries (3rd one this week I’m such a pimp right 🙂 ), so many tears crazy. Then I hug her and try to go for subtle kinos but she’s less open and don’t want to go outside. NC, my game was good nice interaction giving me faith for the evening.
Delirium 3french I vibe good and guess their Job and town, a lot of fun but convo end up by dying. Could have isolate and while hesitating between targets one with boyfriend and other got cold…
Funny convo with 2romanians, improvising great, bouncing on shit tests, I drive the tipsy one crazy, I was in the flow but teasing too much not seriously they left when paki came with flowers and saying she should be the gentleman buying them to me!
Mezzo looking how people dance and done some direct game with no outpout. Good night 🙂

Saturday
Reset my tinder accounts and manage to kick myself to go out daygame.
I invented some excuses to not go (too young, too old, no thinking it worth it) for 5 I’ve seen could have like, almost run after one but… no.
Trying to not put too much pressure and stay out of my head I stayed like 5min at grand place watching people, I see this girl not in a hurry, after 2min I finally open with “are you waiting for the run or … the sun”. Convo is going I’m chilled but I talk too much instead of listening. I open another tourist but she had to go for the walking tour. I will try do this every day until I leave Brussels, felt good coming back home.
Delirium Adrian is opening a lot gg, I vibe with a young but lack of sexu, I put my number in her phone. I see again the girl from daygame but she’s escaping me to join her friends…
Bar des amis, French group, great convo with one who is rofl on my lines. Cute smile I really liked her she was into me, got number but could have go with her and try for the kiss when she went alone to order at the bar.
Via via with JC 2 flemish, no comply on my eye contact game. I still vibe well with one, tried to lead but when some wings say by they take the opportunity to leave. One last awkward set and then we joined Nelson and his gf, I was in my head, could have be more present for fun with friends.

Sunday
Planning my last possible dates.
Freelectics workout I was in shape, invited the Asian and drive her back home. We dated after the shower, convo and connection wasn’t crazy but I learned at little bit about Vietnam and worked on my escalation. She was sitting very far and knew the road will be long to get closer
The hand on her knee was 2times rejected, then accepted longer but rejected again, my hand in her back was more ok. Difficult to push more so I lead her to my flat and of course LMR right in the entry, I just don’t give a fuck and say she’s free to go but I’m entering, she hesitates for a minute but babystep comes. While I keep talking about travel she follows me from far to final door.
Sitting on my bed I go on my music routine with short meditation and I ask her for a massage (I put the idea in her head before but she was like no). After I want to massage her as well but she doesn’t want to remove the shirt. I didn’t insist much, just saying like if you go to swimming you also so shy and go with clothes… She wants to leave so I make her sit on my knees to go for a kiss but “I’m not ready” even after all the comfort I built it still too fast for Asian culture. Last push on the bed being dominant jumping on her I didn’t want to scare her so I let her escape. She’s missing out, not sure that with a better game and more patience it would have been really possible to fuck her…
Next week:
Amsterdam rsdfreetour
Got some dates planned for my last week, smells good 🙂

#AccountabilityWeek29 #Ben

Summary: sports, action, date, sex

Monday
Home all day time flied on internet…

Tuesday
Running 16km, nice trail
Joined Fatih, we talked about deep subject relationship related.
Deli no open, Bar des amis 3french convo but nothing coming out (lack of energy/persistence). With JC we play cards with 3 dancers, didn’t tried much even if I liked, no feeling of connection.

Wednesday
Relaunched some targets.
Really wanted to see my French sf again, she got some std (from a friend…)
Postponed seeing her until she knows exactly, was used to fuck her without condoms I better don’t take stupid risks.
Meetup to debate, I was afraid I will stress standing 5min in front of 20people to give my arguments but it wasn’t that bad.
Afterwork where I met this French quite funny and cool convo, some chodes try to interrupt us but she’s more interested into talking to me, I lead her to a couch to sit. Her friend is leaving and while she says bye I go to bathroom, she left but facebook close. Some kino but no clear physical escalation, could have push but didn’t wanted to make her uncomfortable.
Delirium talk to this flight attendants group, talk to 3girls in the group and focus on one where I’m having good energy but she doesn’t invest much into knowing me. I exit myself feeling they want stay together.

Thursday
Dating this French from impro theater
She was coming straight from work around 19h, I was ending dinner at my place and proposed either she can come over for dessert or I joined after. Last option, so she was finishing some fries when I joined her. Sitting on this tall chair, no other option than face2face. Convo was fluent, my strategy was to make her talk more than me to be empathic listener but she was asking me a lot of questions. It was more intellectual than fun, still interesting. I knew I will be stuck on the physical escalation, at a point she goes for a beer. I make her wish about the eyelash touching her cheek, she was comfortable about. What I’ve could have done better after is to lead after to sit in a more chill area.
So, sitting again, we talked about energy topics, and she talks about some palm reading topics so I bounce on it taking her hand, but he was not long and sexual enough :/
I lead her to my place to have this dessert, she complies and follow. In my room we eat on some jazz music I ask her to make me discover. Idea is to join her sitting on the bed when I’m done. She doesn’t give me this time and decide to leave, while she put her shoes I try to stay detached and not be too needy but still act surprised as it’s barely 22h. She’s kind of psycho rigid while getting into bed early to read.
I talked about sex related topics very slightly before but she was ignoring the frame, she isn’t shy (long eyes contact) as a person but “reservé” in a way.
Lack of sexualization and escalation, comfort was there

Friday
Romanian at 21h, not the best day to see a sexfriend but I really wanted to have sex again.
I was challenging her to come to my place but kept flexible. Awesome foreplay, I was exciting her a lot but very calm, patient and she was taking the lead to undress, touch my dick and suck it. Sexual Tension was insane to the point we enter into each other without condom.
It was great, made her come multiple times, starting to know her, I enjoyed playing with her.
She wanted to take the pill asap I convinced her to wait next morning so we can enjoy more. She was trying to put the frame I’m selfish and only wanted to use her, I reframed her bullshit as it’s shared orgasms.
In the morning she wanted to sleep, impossible to touch her, I was horny but not forcing too much and avoiding manipulation. After convo we go again, and it goes pretty much like this until evening (around 4rounds). We tried some durex toy (ring and vibrator) interesting to test but not crazy.
For next steps I proposed to keep an open fuck buddies relationship when I’m not in Brussels, she don’t. So maybe sex a few times before I leave.

Saturday
La Bodega with Adrian, I felt present the day of sex helped me on that. Started well I managed a nice convo with an American already in couple she became my wing woman while I help my wing to make out with her cute friend.
Convo with interesting girl from commission, at a point the convo was about cum and I was glad she was open to talk this, but after she left dancing back with her group and I didn’t chased her. Lack of lead her I guess. Then I started to get in my head and was blocked. One last open on this German I actually already met last time I was here with Matt. She remembered me pretty well as I was fun but giving the awkward impression, she thought I was on drugs last time. She was nice but not open on the sex topic and didn’t find much other convo, she introduced to her friends, one was cute and open to talk but I lack of comfort by trying to go fast for a kiss.
Spirito was a mistake, 2shitty opens and in my head, hated the superficial atmosphere (not more rant, I promise!).

Sunday
Reading this tantra book, interesting
Workout freelectics was good

Next week:
Be more present and manage emotions better
Keep sports&reading, be social and practice empathy

#AccountabilityWeek27 #Ben

Summary: action, no results: pain is part of the journey 🙂
Already 6months of game, 1 last month in Brussels

Monday
Running with my ex and quickie in the forest
Italian flaked me “I’m sick” lol

Delirium with Daan De Graeve, I’m not that motivated he opens a lot not by the best way but still manage to get some few convos where I join, NC a French but not solid

Tuesday
Passed my certification 90% rate but cheated as a lot of answer where on google…
Impro class event was cool, I socialized after and Facebook closed a French.
On the way back, a girl approached me for a smack, she kind of scared me and I first ask where is the camera or what’s the trick. Then her friends joined and I went for a real French kiss, they were just playing around.

Delirium alone, could have open twice in the street but no balls. A lot of groups inside but not inspired.
Ryan and Nelson Van de Velde joining I finally do a first open about a group coming with hats. Inside we have some short convos, I feel better with a wing. No outcome really, I was interested by one but she went kissing her boyfriend as she felt the sexual tension raising.

Wednesday
Spanish girl should have pass by home but lack of communication…
Went to a meetup I wanted to open the first group but instead of just presenting myself I stand there trying to listen the convo was about and bounce on it. I wasn’t stressed but felt weird and the first words coming out where like a retarded guy whor can’t use his tongue, seriously… One guy was cool and open to discuss so I was more comfortable. I don’t stay long and go for an Ukrainian sitting, saying it’s forbidden to sit. I try to get to know her and talking about her country and traveling but no fun. Same with her friend I’m not blocked but I conscious that it’s just some flat convo going here. I’m not really in gaming mode like usual being sexual or direct and I realized I can’t just talk randomly without intention behind. I open a girl I already met a while ago she recognizes me but don’t recall my name, it’s looking awkward as I have no convo. One last group of anthropologists where I try to understand wtf is this job, being more a listener but girl feels I’m an IT guy who don’t give much care about people.
Well this session was quite a shock to realize the struggle I will face while travelling alone

Went to my Romanian, quick talk and I gave her a lot of orgasms. Sensation where not that good for me and I took a while to come. I ask her some feedback, she said that I’m impatient, demanding…
I ask for a massage but she was tired, I was again in calculation mode like giving and receiving back. Talk about the fact I got attached too fast in relations but didn’t go deep into the rsd subject yet.

Thursday
Swimming pool I managed to push myself very well (150m crawl no stops, managing my breathing)
Cook pancakes with Spanish and talk for an hour about my dating life then went out with her and Adrian Power at delirium, some open and convo but no outcome.Interesting to have a wingwoman for feedback.

Friday
Went to the Spanish to talk, I first wanted to cancel because I was horny and felt I will try again to fuck her. I still went and guess what, I tried and loosed all my energy doing it. 3 fingers in the pussy licking the boobs but no kissing. This was so ridiculous, never doing this mistake to enter in the frame and keep trying while doing the nice guy.
Then she sends me a cheesy voice message about appreciating and that I shouldn’t feel guilty about pushing so much but she’s not ready yet
Finished Mark Manson book, need to apply now !
Delirium some opens without convo , ViaVia convos with a lot of shit, bar des amis. Also, this lesbian bar where a feminist gave me a lot of love about my “are yout hetersexual” opener (yeah, I looked for troubles…) Anton Cab give me some nice feedback, I knew already that I don’t speak flat and not loud enough but it was a good reminder. Calibration is still a sticking point as well.

Saturday
Helping Daan to get rid of approach anxiety near Christmas market. Got bounced at Havana… Delirium, Bar des Amis with Fatih Köse and Jean-Christophe Wiltgen. Some short convos not going anywhere but had some fun with the bros
Sunday
Freelectics workout pushing myself a lot 🙂

Jeux d’hiver with Jean-Christophe Wiltgen cool to wing with you bro 🙂 I started with a great state socializing with everyone.
I gave a lot of my energy and after 1h I started to be less fun. We met some open people but it was still difficult to get them invested in talking with us…
On the dancefloor we went for some speed seduction (hand of god, would like to kiss me or compliments, come with me home…) and re-open sets.
A lot of hot girls but hard to game, groups, I had a lot of excuses (or not) “I’m in a couple”
Trying deep sexual eye contact but it was maybe too early, girls were distracted…
Need to work on my patience because I lack more of calibration as night goes on without results.
We left around 3 and the queue outside to enter was huge, it was the place to be!!

Next week:
Read and keep work on my emotions
Discipline myself focus less into seduction topics and have more balanced life goals
Develop empathy

#AccountabilityWeek25 #Ben
Summary: action and results finally coming again so long report 🙂 !
dating, getting laid, reading…

Monday
Delirium, Darwin and Mezzo some open and short convos. Interesting quick interaction with a red hair artist, being sexual standing so close we could have kiss but social pressure and she exit to talk to friend

Tuesday
No answer from a scheduled date from OD
Dating this Romanian, 31yo really smart. I was not trying much in the café, some kinos and sitting close. I felt she was attracted.
After 30min hungry I lead to move and go to my door. Being confident, I keep walking through the alley, she stops I could have lost everything here but I kept walking confidently and I just say my flatmate will not kill you and open next door.
I was supposed to go to jeux d’hiver later and she asked me several times during the evening what I do, this false time constraint was helping in the way I’m not going to stay forever in the flat. I kept answering randomly.
So my flatmate was in the kitchen also with her daughter, so she was quite uncomfortable. I just took food to the room and eat there while she sits on the bed.
Good thing is she already removed her shoes by herself (not same mistake as with the Spanish).
I joined her on the bed and proposed she gives me a massage (I really had back pain) but clear no.
I start to touch her legs gently while speaking, then I go for keeping long eye contact but she keeps being distracted and destabilize. So I propose we meditate to calm her down.
I keep touching softly and finally go for the kiss. Kindly accepted and she kiss well.
Reaching this point the shit tests and LMR started to grow.
Tried twice to caress close to the pussy, no go.
After a pause went for the boobs, I lick them but impossible to remove clothes with clear no.
Kissing alternatively, doing push pull and gentle freeze out.
I manage to get rid of up clothes, then after being a lot patient I go for the pussy.
At this point I don’t want fail so much and start to realize I will actually get it done tonight!
Giving her a first orgasm, by massaging clit.
I still have my panties, she doesn’t help me at all to undress and don’t show any interest to give pleasure back, dafuk egoism.
I present my dick to her mouth so she finally grabs it. She doesn’t suck bad but I don’t want to miss anything tonight so go for the condom straight to the pussy.
Well after 5min and 2positions it’s hurting for her, first time she said. I try to insist but 2 clear stops. So I look detached and say it’s fine: awesome management of my emotions here 🙂 I try to touch her again but clit too sensitive.
We talk about online dating for a break and I keep kissing intermittently.
I go again for eating her pussy, she almost blocked me but once I started I owned her.
She tells me to take a condom and massage clit at same time (yeah finally she expresses her needs…)
I fuck her fast as I need to pee and want to fucking come, she comes before me, 1position more and I’m finally having an intense orgasm, such a fucking release to jerk off again in a pussy, all these weeks of struggling finally recompensed
Again crazy to see another girl which don’t say thank you, or I had a great time. The girl had no sex for 2months, I give great time with 3 orgasms… Anyway, I shouldn’t care I don’t need validation and I’m outcome independent right!

Wednesday
Meeting this 20yo Spanish girl again to her place. She’s into me but keep the frame I would have fuck you the 1st time we met but now not anymore. She’s horny but keep playing her game. I stay on her bed for around 2h talking shit, meditating, caressing her then exchanging massages.
Getting hungry as she’s not offer me any food either pussy or real food, I leave. She’s surprised I still met her again and didn’t tried anything. Well I did but I stayed subtle.
While massaging her back I could have go further, I was not in my head, excited but very chill.
Well it was interesting to tease and leave on this, while saying bye again she freaks out to kiss me, like I would have tried to smack her, it was not my intention anymore.
I don’t know where is this going, it looks I do the nice guy but actually I don’t care much, would be good to fuck her but I will not lose time try to remove her limiting thoughts, still it’s an experience to see wtf is in her head!

One of the girls I relaunched from OD, proposed to meet right after 20h.
I’m so confident and feeling well that the date goes well, I moved from the bar to next café where we keep talking about sex related topics. She’s open and not shy I like that, I do some subtle kinos. I meet my friend at 21h so she knows nothing is on for tonight.
Bro before hoes 🙂
I escalate more before she leaves, we schedule to share orgasms next Tuesday at her place and I go test if she’s kiss a good kisser, validated!

Loft with Adrian, birthday of this girl from our theatre group. She touches me a lot but want only serious and freak out when I share my notes with list of targets 🙂 . I’m such in a good state I go open fearless (missed 2 street open on the way anyway).
Get close by an Italian girl like intense eye contact cute but didn’t go for the number, not sure if solid …
Talked shit another set but not funny girls

Thursday
Played Tennis with a friend it was cool
Impro classes I was in my head and struggled to really have fun
Vibkes at Bloody louis with Adrian, I started with my deep open “who are you”, idea was to get more than a name, to see how the girl define herself, her life goals/purpose. I freaked out quite some set, sometimes even by just showing up.
That didn’t put me in the best mood. My wing was able to get more attention but I was not able to get in. Fuck this I decide to be completely retarded and dance stupidly, act retarded with Jaryd, Andres. Opening other by clearly stating that a lot of girls are weird tonight… I beg this Uk to be fun and not blocked as the other.
She’s also in IT and we get some fun, I’m touching her a lot and stand really close. I think about the kiss but go to isolate first, grabbing her hand and fucking leading her at the end of the club. Still too noisy so I let her show the way, talking in the entry stairs I keep being very dominant.
She is less comfortable now of me standing so close, I lack calibration, empathy and listening. She says I’m too arrogant I enter in her frame and say shit so she finally escapes.
She was just tipsy at this time but saw her again totally drunk later…
I was feeling more playful and willing to open more, being more persistent with 2set, like if the first was ignoring me I go to the friend by telling shit about her acting weird or so. It worked with one, making fun of myself and on the situation, she laughed a lot but escaped to the bar has without wing her friend was like waiting.
With Nelson around I kept opening but no convo or connection, some hugs, holding hand long time and being direct without success.

Friday
Christmas party at work, I could have game as I’m leaving the company anyway and there was 2nice girl but they were already getting attention from a lot of colleagues. And I was not in the best state, socialize a little but felt alone a blocked fast :/
Cimetierre d’ixelles (yes after 1,5y in Bxl I finally discover the bars there) with Nelson. I do some of my usually opens which don’t bring much convos… My wing corrects me and give some feedback how static I am and weird it may look.
These past months gaming I was always very chilled, standing straight but telling stupid stuff to be different and make laugh. My nonverbal is not congruent with my lines and it lacks comfort I guess.
Meeting a girl from bar mardi she recognized me but don’t remember, I do, short convo but I miss the energy and value to interest her.
I tried to dance, and despacito fucking song for the 2nd time tonight again (omg).
Thanks to my wing who pushed a lot to open while dancing I finally kick my as on one but escape too fast getting shit tested…
Also first time since I’m in Bxl I got rejected by a bouncer at the entry of a bar, lol

Saturday
Afternoon, fucking my French sf again after a month, 2h sex was just so good, probably one of the best.
Evening out: Via via few open and short convo with not interesting girls…
Bar des amis: adding some fun in a group of 4 girls, opening other but nothing much going on…
Supposed to go to cartagena to dance but go lazy to push myself on the topic…
Bonnefoi talking with this French with a friend more socializing, unable to connect deeply :/
Delirium nothing much
Got tired at 2 and left, realizing again how having sex affects my mood and energy 😮

Sunday
Meeting this Lithuanian from Philo classes, I was fun and spend some good time, idea was to attract her that she comes back to me. I lack of listening skills/empathy and was not sexual enough. I was not able to touch her at exki and just my arm on shoulder while walking. While saying goodbye I was looking how to bring the kiss but she wasn’t into it.
Swimming pool and workout, I was dead but still went to the Romanian.
Longest foreplay so far there, I enjoyed talking with her, she’s smart and we share similar values. I almost gave her an orgasm with the boobs, she was very sensitive. Sex was longer and better than last time. I was totally up for a 2nd round, I was willing to wait she’s less sensitive but she was not into it. She proposed me to stay sleeping, I first accept it but realizing I will not be able to sleep if she doesn’t finish me again I went back home.
Physically she’s average but mentally interesting, want to meet her again definitely interesting experience.

Next week:
Keep reading, work on my emotions and discipline
Study for my certification
Try other approaches and style, be more sexual, dance…

#AccountabilityWeek23 #Ben
Summary: flakes, 2 dates, 1KC, action

Monday
Philo classes I felt good and finally NC the girl of my group
Back home I stop by delirium and had great convo with that group.
1 guys with 3 cute girls, I open by asking if he’ s not afraid by them.
I played some cold reading to guess what each is doing, got 50% of them true and we had fun about sex subjects 🙂 I tried to take number of one but without conviction and gave mine to another but not solid.

Tuesday
Dating 1 Spanish I talked for a few minutes last week in a bar. I was so relaxed and convo was cool, lots of kinos. I make her move as I didn’t how to bring the kiss while sitting. On the front of my door, she asks why we stop, I say I’m hungry. She already eats, I ask what she likes to cook, “croque monsieur”, spontaneous I lead to the store to buy stuff and we go to my flat. My flatmate is there so I don’t make any move in the kitchen. Heading to my room she takes some time to follow me and then she starts to dress her up, I ask if she’s in a hurry. Being detached I invite her to sit on my bed. Putting some music, she shows me her style on her phone, I join her and play with the bet that I know her lastname, I win and verbalize the fact she has to kiss me now.
She’s blocked and admit that if she does then shit will happens and she didn’t come for sex and ask if it was my plan.
I stay vague and change subject, keep touching her legs and go to her pussy. Then start what I call the elevator as I keep going up there and she gently push me down, like for 10times.
I stopped and try to go more near the boobies but at this point I should have completely stop any move on her to calm the LMR.
I wasn’t patient enough but wasn’t horny, like no boner. Missing maybe more sexual tension and deep eye contact.
At a point she like really ask me to stop, I say I may not but the door is open you are free.
While leaving I said she could give a normal goobye kiss, she admits being too horny to do so lol
For the context: she fucked the day before the organisator from the afterwork where we met. And this guys is apparently my neighboor in the same building 🙂 . She wasn’t comfortable about that and the fact we may see again 3 of us.
I went to delirium and talked shortly with 1 guy and 2 other guys, then opened this Italian group with 6 17yo girls, convo for a while but I wasn’t tactile, we took a pic and go the FB. She actually contacted me the day after but already heading to airport.
My 2nd date flaked, she’s a workaholic and wanted to change her mind with me but I didn’t try to convince to meet, she proposed next day, I set a time but she didn’t invest much.

Wednesday
The flake from yesterday excused herself can’t do it today aswell
Another flake from OD, she was not in shape and then cancelled as she needs to rest…
Went swimming, still struggling to work on my endurance
Out with my dear friend Adrian to this expat afterwork again, where my date from yesterday was there but just said hi from far.
Talked with 2guys but convos wasn’t going anywhere, had a correct convo with a girl but she escaped at the end. Tried another but she was not fun (me neither) so she turned back speaking to a guy which was doing too much the show while speaking (come on man, overgaming…)
I was quite negative after this but still tried delirium, my wing push to do some approaches, forced myself but I was still stuck for cool convo

Thursday
Impro classes, then Plux with some convos, I was more in the social mood and didn’t push to get a number. As my lasts NC were not solid I was not trying, I will next time doesn’t cost much

Friday
Went to Lille to meet the players from there, quite a lot 🙂
Interesting to change field, I approached a lot but was lacking calibration with direct game. I almost went for a kiss with one, I was pushy and sexual but she had a boyfriend and escaped
I push to stay until 6 even the fact I had downs, I could have lead more and believed in the possibility to fuck.

Saturday
Last day at Lille, being social, but difficult into getting the interest of groups
To the club I was more in dance mode to change from previous night, at 2 I still decided to approach every possible attractive girl before leaving.

Sunday
Relaunched 2 old flakes without success
Dating this 24yo from OD, we talk for an hour but I don’t do much kinos.
My convo could be more fun but I went successfully for the kiss while saying goodbye.
Cute face but the body is not as thin as I like, I still plan to go for the fuck on next date.

Next week:
Huge focus on better handling my emotions
I should spend more time to write detailed reports to learn from my experiences and see what to improve