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#AccountabilityWeek22 #Ben
Summary: slight action, results will come later but getting impatient about not fucking a new girl since 3months, working on forgetting my ex-sexfriendsMonday
I wanted to try how I can control my ejaculation so I masturbated. Need to train more my pelvis muscle.
NC from weeks ago at deli came surprisingly back to me to date on Wednesday.
Philo classes subject was beauty, I was completely in my head and not open about the ideas. Sad, depressed, negative
Went to café belga but blocked to openTuesday
Got flaked for next day date, she’s sick…
Throat pain, focused on online game at homeWednesday
Center with Adrian, international afterwork, open a Swedish which was more into having another drink than getting to know me…
5min convo with a cutie young half belgium/spanish, a lot of kinos. We got interrupted by the organiser, went to her before leaving, saying was nice to meet you, she automatically proposes to add on FB, I take her number and project about swimming together
Delirium tried the eye contact authenticity challenge, 1 was nok boyfriend wasn’t far the other also a bf but she was open but afraid about it, funny to see.Thursday
Impro classes then Chalet Robinson with Adrian
Few opens and one convo with a greec cutie, kinos but then got cockblock, she took my FB but not solidFriday
Swimming pool, struggling with my crawl breathing
The Peruvian I NC was teasing me on the phone to see her but she was more playing and being curious of what I do.
Delirium 2set of 18yo belgians, long convo and a lot of kinos with one, could have push more but exited when saw her boyfriend pic on her phone. I wasn’t so interested in the second one and I brought the 3some idead but not enough sexualisation.
Then with Vincent benelux and bar des amis, I was blocked, opened without enough energy and nothing much to say :/Saturday
Dating the girl, I speak with for 1min at Deli and NC a month ago. She was living with flatmates and was too shy to show me her room “it’s intimate”.
Couldn’t escalate anything while staying in the kitchen and flatmates being around. Proposed her to join me in Gent and said i expected we do something. I was wondering why the fuck she agreed to meet again, I challenged her to propose an activity for next week but I will not contact her again if she doesn’t invest.
Plan B to Gent meeting new guys, convo at bar des amis a girl in a group of bf/gf and wife/husband of 20people lol. Then quick with a girl actually living in Brussels so I NC.
Walking around with guys, on the way to 69 I meet Roland a cool french bro. We talk with a set but exit fast, one girl had this screw-piercing I was playing with this calling her a robot and terminator, she didn’t get into the fun frame.
He wants some time outisde so i game alone in Charlatan for 1h, opening around 10girls. My lines are shit and not able to have proper convos with as it’s stupid questions or cold reading on appearance.
I still had fun and wasn’t carrying much, not in my head.
I expected to game with wings but the group split fastSunday
Freeletics workout 😊
Called a new girl from OD to meet but she was “tired”#AccountabilityWeek19 #ben
Summary: fuck buddies, travel and small action, working on my emotions
Monday
Philo classes I was like wtf I’m doing there, a lot in my head.
Fucking French was awesome, I controled myself to come really late and played a lot with positions.
I think either she doesn’t really give a fuck, which sounds weird when we see how we are connected or she’s faking very good to protect herself.
Anyway she’s a good ‘study case’ for me to work on my detachment and it’s very challenging
Tuesday
Impro was good again, felt better after as usually
German came late with sexy lingerie as I told her last time. She has definitely a fucking nice body, no comparison possible with the French.
I wanted to take a picture of her back for the record but too shy.
I was more into control, teasing her a lot, I set my frame.
Sex is really different even with the condom there is this connection with this long deep eye contacts.
I named her sweetie, she protected herself by asking me to not call her like that.
My emotions are weak with her, let’s be honest in a way I’m in love.
That’s the fucked up part as I’ll leave Belgium anyway so why I invest so much energy thinking and feelings about her.
In the morning I tried to touch her, she was like no, I tried to not get affected and went for food and some short meditation.
Then I realised it would be stupid to miss a morning orgasm so I went again and great fuck for sure
Wednesday
Done this interview for a job in France, I felt so good after an enthousiast about being good at it and selling myself
Getting ready for my trip back home, spending/losing quite some time on internet omg, hard do discipline myself.
I should accept and be less hard on me but still in my head block to do NLP excercises
Thursday
Traveling to Alsace, inspired by this girl with blablacar who traveled quite a lot doing roadtrip
Friday
Cool to be back in Lyon
Meeting cool gamers
few opens at Sirius
Saturday
Entered in almost all possible bars, around 30opens with fast séduction, fun but no outcome (lack of calibration)
Sunday
Chill and good time with old friends
Suscribed a month premium on ‘adopte un mec’ to give a chance on online.#AccountabilityWeek20 #Ben
Summary: wow already 4month! Some action again 🙂
Monday
Back home, chillingTuesday
Went cycling on my old training roadsWednesday
Last day, happy to go back in Bxl
Interesting discussion with a blablacar girl, cute face but body not special and have boyfriend.Thursday
Working again, better tolerance to bullshit there, holidays helped.
Went to meetup about happiness but was quite late there then Plux alone, I was kind of looking for open finally a red hat on a Polish girl helped me. I brought discussion to 3somes but she wasn’t comfortable to talk about intimacy. Lack of calibration probably.
Another open on a girl with flowers on the jacket, I was more interested in her cute friend but she wasn’t open and they didn’t like me talking about drugs lol.Friday
Center with my “clown” wing Adrian, love your persistence bro! He inspired me to practice cold reading also, which is cool when working
Some opens and discussions, I got kind of gamed by 2girls it was new and cool sensation, they losed attraction pretty fast tough!
It was a cool night anyway, not too much in my head and cool to see other gamers like fatih, vincent, ryanSaturday
Center starded alone late then Matt joined. I forced myself and needed a lot of time to get in a flow. Hopefully warming sets at Delirium helped, Bar des amis and then a bar at Sainte Catherine definitely worth it with local people. There nice convos started, making the girl laugh and having finally some fun seducing.
Last one from Peru was good, I finally got horny while talking and touching her, I realised this almost never happen appart from when I dance really close. She was tipsy and manage to overthrow a bucket of beer on my shoes/pants while hugging together. Thanks to my bro who really helped occupied the pig cockblock friend (I own you one 😉 )
We talked about sex, I slapped her butt, I could have lead more to isolate and go for the kiss
I took number and schedule her giving me a massage to apologize for this accident.Sunday
Workout freeletics was great, some nice Italian chick, I’m always interested in cute sporty girls.Called my NC, she was doing Netflix all day and was afraid to get out of her comfort zone to come to my place. I proposed to meet first outside and see what happens, no pressure but she was overthinking. Then I asked her to propose another day if she wants to see each other again and she was like “I have classes until 10 maybe next weekend “.
I kept my frame that it’s like tonight or it might not happen. She was saying I’m pushy, I kept the fun but ended the call as nothing would come out.
I didn’t want to textgame and see how I could push on the phone. I was maybe impatient and should change strategy next time I have a solid number.My French sf fantasm is to have a 3some, I proposed to look for a girl on tinder but she’s not sure anymore when I talk about creating the account, #noballs
I will wait she comes back to me to fuck and focus more on having new targets.
Same for the German which is on holidayNext week:
Goal is to go out more and be super social
Be completely detached from gaming and talk with anyone
Focus on my mental exercises (NLP) to control my emotionsSyndrome du nice guy, elle te voit comme un ami pas un amant.
C’est à toi de lui dire qu’elle te fait bander et que tu veux la prendre la maintenant
#AccountabilityWeek18 #Ben
Summary: to be honest nothing much apart from sexfriends stories, I think it’s better to admit it than skipping the accountability challenge (which looks more like a small diary these last weeks)Monday
Philo living justlyTuesday
Learn that my project is cancelled at work and end date of my work order is end of November
Meetup about EFT, interesting I’ll test on me
German came late, I said that I don’t want to pressure her and I’m fine with the rhythm and want to let go trying to work on being detached.
She confirmed protecting herself and don’t want to feel used as she’s a psycho and I’m into this self-improvement.
I pushed to fuck even with her periods, she wasn’t comfortable, also tried the as but no way!
I came while masturbating each other it was great, I was surprised as usually never jerk off outside when I’m near a wet pussy.
Same in the morning it was goodWednesday
Chill day at work, I was in a nice moodThursday
Impro classes great again
Plux with Adrian, open with ‘hey I eat an apple’ which was the case. We already opened 1 in the set at deli but I didn’t remember her first.
I brought the discussion to sex with 4some, it was fun. Took number but don’t expect anything.Friday
Accupressure session was good, I’m more open to these energies things now. As some statement about me were quite realistic
then dinner with my friend I felt really great talking about deep things.Met Croatian, was a little bit less crazy but still, I was afraid she impacts my mood.
Finally, I slept at her place, she didn’t fuck since last time, she so was wet and tight.
She actually brought me a gift from Ireland, a condom! So thin that I came quite fast with nice sensation.
She told me I’m less chubby that the first time , ROFL 1st time someone think I’m not skinny.
She cried during sex, reason was we don’t live in same world, we don’t think same and so opposites. She got attached I guess and showed vulnerabilities without controlling anymore!Saturday
Coaching, NLP session to amplify good emotions and set an anchor.
Went out in the Center, short convo and one number.
I keep it short as nothing crazy happened and don’t want to be negative…Sunday
Freeletics work out, I pushed again hard 😊
Prepared some stuff to bring back to my home, realised how much shit I store -> minimalism needed!#AccountabilityWeek17 #Ben
Summary: still way less focused on “gaming” but this week past fast wow, fucking again sexfriends, dealing with emotional attachment…Monday
Philo classes, topic “attending to the present moment”
Attention, control, detachment, clear your mind.
Looks obvious but good to remind basics resonating with my inner work.Tuesday
Homeworking, it’s been moths I didn’t, surprised and happy by myself being productive.
French flaked, she’s also hill as the German.
I focused on admin papers, career related subjects and played some card game with flatmate.Wednesday
German again after 3weeks, sex started great, she was about to come but blocking herself by saying no without noticing. I appreciated when she encouraged me to fuck her hard and saying “I want you”.
After around an hour the condom broke
She freaked out about taking pill and was completely down to do it again. We talked about our tests which are ok.
I wanted to fuck her without as she will take the pill anyway but no way so I finally came in her mouth.
Wanted also to fuck in the morning but she was so cold to the point I can’t touch her to warm up.
She never fucked anyone of 5guys (she’s done 2girls) without protection.
She wasn’t really in long term relationship.
I admit I missed her she admits too.
I ask her what she think about seeing each other more often like once per week, she said it’s ok like this for her.
I proposed it’s maybe better to stop as I’m getting attached, she wants to protect me and said I need to figure out.
I wanted to cry in the morning and get out of my head but I filtered myself.
She’s pretty busy and going to travel again.
We decided to talk about this next Tuesday and take decision.
I ask her about other current relationships, she kissed 2guys in bar while drunk, she’ll have a date with one. I told her about my French SFThursday
Doing this training day at work, realised I don’t listen. A lot in my head and lack of focus. A little bit tired, more lack of attention
Impro class was cool, I had a great energy while going there 🙂 and done some cool challenging exercises.
Passed by plux with Adrian talked with this girl from “EU bubble”. Realized fast that discussion will be boring as we didn’t change subject about work, the set was cute.
I did not want to be crazy social, not in the mood so better went home earlyFriday
Last training day at work, I was not focused at all. Half sleeping or in my mind.
Swimming, I was proud to be consistent, I push myself hard and even got a calf cramp
Went to the meetup about alternative medicine (like Reiki) my Friend organised, it was cool. I finally planned an acupressure session with himSaturday
Thought about joining RSD Bruges event but wasn’t sure if my state is ready to do daygame and also needed to be at home @16h to meet my coach for relooking session.
It was nice I got more confident, bought 1 shirt/chino and belt
Then birthday of a friend, a lot of girls like 70% balance, I tried to be social and felt good. No crazy connections or discussion but it was already 3am without realising it. I wasn’t stressed or in my head.
A lot of “bohemian style” people not my world actually! Took a number and fb but not solid
On the way home I stopped by Mezzo, RSD people still there hustling at 4am gg. Done 2 open outside, nothing interesting to me inside and a lot of guys.Sunday
Sorted some pictures on my computer and of course including my ex, it was difficult as I don’t want to delete.
Took the decision to travel next year instead of staying in a well-paid job that I don’t really enjoy
Freeletics workout, I pushed myself but was in my head thinking about meeting the French leaving close by.
I called her to pass by but she answered later, finally coming after at my place.
I’m amazed how this girl doesn’t care, barely asks any curious questions. We didn’t see for weeks and not much to say.
She can be nice like she brought some homemade cookies and last time she took car of my hair or she does massage.
Sex remains great, she was so tight at first round.
It’s also good as she’s not bitching and just chill I should be happier about that#AccountabilityWeek16 #Ben
Summary: inner self work!
Nothing fancy to expose here as my game progress is stuck (even going down) since a month if you compare to AccountabilityWeek10 and 11
Sexual misery nothing since 22/09=an eternity from my povTuesday
Back to Brussels, talked deeply with Nelson it was really interesting.
Delirium joined Vincent and Ryan, good time to help and give feedback to them and also doing some opensWednesday
Stayed at home. Washing machine, food…
Filtered best pics from last shoots for OD (having difficulties and took a lot of time to make a choice on my own)
Thinking about my sexfriends, German came back to me to catch up on Sunday
No news from the French one, thinking of her expecting she’s also asking to see again.
Wanted to watched Rsd Julien transformation mastery but lost my time on internet :/Thursday
French one finally come back texting to me, I propose Friday she says going out. We didn’t see for 2 weeks but I’m not a priority for her. I wanted to say going out or having orgasms, tricky choice.
She doesn’t deserve me and I should respect myself not thinking about.
Got some matches on happn with new pic, made me feel good
Impro classes then on the way Vibkes at Spirito
Adrian started in the queue 2set, having fun with photobox and then dancing
+ Opened
– Short convos
–>More conviction, FlowFriday
Texted the girl I already dated while running and tried to kiss, saw again at Spirito. As it 2nd time i say hi fast at a party I sent a text to meet again but radio silence it’s frozen.
I need to pass to something else, I tried, next time she’s in a same party I don’t go say hi to her.
Good: went to swimming pool, it was long time ago
Havana with Adrian and Matt
Saw again the girl I texted she came say hi when entering but then we didn’t talk
Forcing myself to have fun, impressed how Adrian is able to be funny&talk shit
+ Opened and left early to not get more bored
– Convo short and flat (negging to hard)
–>Be more sociable and funSaturday
Masturbated on wake up to check if OK, it’s been so long time I didn’t enjoyed much the orgasm, felt weird
Good, sport: running 13km (with my ex, it doesn’t affect me much to see her and better than alone)
No game, seen Nelson again to talk and wen to the “nuit blanche” artists event, went home at 2, as I saw a lot of people outside I thought about stop by Mezzo but wanted to enjoy my Sunday and not forcing myself.Sunday
Focused on Rsd Julien transformation mastery, good shit
Wen to a meetup about being coached to become a personal dev coach, interesting
Was supposed to fuck the German but she was hill, postponed to Wednesday
French one is scheduled for TuesdaySticking points:
Mental state (positive and energy) I just realise how negative I’m while thinking about this week I shouldn’t be disappointed (and hard) about myself (still proud to write this text to realize), it’s just a path in the journey to change on a deeper level
Highly emotionally dependant from exterior (especially OI on sexfriends)#AccountabilityWeek14+15 #Ben
Summary:
I didn’t post last week because I was doing a break of gaming to really focus on myself.
I’ll merge last two weeks here.Monday
One of the last lunch with my closest bro(mance!)
Starting philosophical classes, theme “wisdom within”.
Let go, being and living in present. Awareness, control. Patient and gentle with myself
Enlarge perspective, new eyes, big picture view
2 tools:
– Allow space by making pauses to avoid auto-pilot/reactions
– Stop jumping around ideas in head, giving mind some simple things to think about (meditation)Tuesday
Chill day at work, happy and feeling well eating alone, I didn’t feel obliged to do street.
Went to improvisation class, surprised that it was contact impro (meaning touching a lot and surfing on other bodies). A lot of girls there, some cutie 😉Wednesday
Decided to start a week without gaming to focus on being happy alone with myself independent.Thursday
Improvisation classes it was fun.
Flake by my German, Plux just to say hi to NelsonFriday
Meetup with Philippe
Great night with my French, we got closer in discussion it was cool.Saturday
Freeletics workout killed me.
Wanted to go try bachata lessons, didn’t forced myself, quite tired
Started to look at my past years and cried.
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Budapest, first time traveling alone, first holidays since Poland a year ago.
I didn’t write detailed field reports each night as I wanted to enjoy the tripThursday
I was in my head, watching others, not in 100% gaming mindset. Putting myself at the place of girls getting approached 20times 😊
Friday
Wanted to stop game, too focused on resultSaturday
Otkert approached a lot, tried to kiss several times. Had some fun. Took a number in streetSunday
Szimpla, insisted for more than an hour with this cutie from UK, moved her, danced, touched a lot and tried to for kiss 4times.To improve:
Talking more action (day game while visiting)
Networking more with guys
Emotionally detached
More sexual tension and physical calibration
Being happy with (love) myself
Having fun talking with everyone, socializingGood:
Went out every night from 1 to 5 even with long days
Managed to switch twice my negative mindset
Not giving up fast
Still posting accountability 😉First rsd Summit for me, it was great, friends from Brussels you missed something, whatever your excuses!
Good speeches and nice people.
I didn’t take 100% advantage of it but it inspired me to really focus on my inner game in coming weeks.#AccountabilityWeek13 #Ben
Summary: first time I’m late on my accountability, less focus on resultsMonday
Street without opening, shit happens
Deli and nua with the group was cool to change my ideasTuesday
Street 2 opensBar mardi with Blaise around 7 approaches.
High state of energy and willing to take action.
even if no investment from any sets.
Seen 3 known faces I dated or kissed. I just said hi and quick convoFrench was about to flake our night, we fucked 3times, so good to come together again, she puts a lot of energy to move her body for nice sensations.
Wednesday
Street 2indirect 1 direct, not giving a fuck while walking and writing previous reports.
Great that I go take fresh air during lunch break.
Deli at 23h30 alone to change my mindThursday
It’s raining, I know it’s not an excuse because if I start to look at weather to go out open in Brussels… Instead of street approach in commercial gallery, I’ll do itGin jeudi then La haut with Jaryd, some convos.
Friday
Saik good initiative to party Jaryd birthday with huge cake shared on grand place.
Leuven with Nelson and Vincent some short convosSaturday
Deli with Adrian and then bar nearby.
He was good into convos, I was more backing up
A milf was quite into me insisting to dance and touching me a lot, not use to it was cool.Sunday
Went out alone for car free day taking sun, approach mindset to work on.Meetup in French, convo with Romanian doing same job as me lol.
A girl sitting in front of me opened me in the metro with the line ‘I like your style’, so fucking unexpected first time I receive a compliment from a stranger.
Slept again with my German it was awesomeOui bien d’avoir rajouté la date, le top serait de pouvoir consulter les derniers messages non lus depuis la dernière visite.
Couleur moi je préfère sombre, moins fatiguant pour les yeux
Je veux améliorer mon anglais et je peux le partager à plus de personnes
#AccountabilityWeek12 #Ben
Summary: slight action, fucking in comfort zoneMonday
Lunch with my bro, no street
Went to impro theater meetup, I invited myself because the organiser wasn’t answering, then the guy text me it was rude but had no balls to tell me face to faceFinally fucked the German, wow body with perfect boobs.
Wanted to do second round but she was too sensitive and couldn’t get wet enough.
I was frustrated as she did not want to blow me in the morning but she did a massage.Tuesday
Could have open one in metro I need to do this!
Street 2 opens but they were busy
I missed at least 3 correct opportunitiesBar mardi
With Kevin I wasn’t comfortable at all no convo and unable to listen/understand properly with the noise.Seen a (cold) NC from previous BM also a girl I kissed at Spirito which wasn’t responding much to my texts. I tried to kiss again but her friends were not far.
NC a French.Wednesday
Street 1open Indirect but she was in a hurry
1she was not speaking French and left
1 open on her shoes I found cool (it was for once natural and I was honest) , Belgian called Helena, I could have talked longer or at least take numberLoft with Adrian, I saw again the Romanian I KC at Spirito. I was in a good vibe with my wing so I had balls to say hi, then I opened 3sets fearless with fun.
Fucked my French 3times, last time in the morning I was thinking about the German while fucking her, I was already tired about routine. She fucks great and sensation without condom but still I got bored
Thursday
Street 1open it was cool to go out walk and change my mind.
Starting today I’m doing positive challenge, I’ll not underline what I missed but be grateful with myself. Improvements will come with actionVibkes with Adrian, handling a 2set with one interested touching me. Cool convo with Marina work in com’ agency, had boyfriend.
Then around 3 fearless speed seduction opens on dancefloor, cool sensation.
Deli alone just checking who’s here.Friday
While hesitating to go out in center or to Havana, my German texted me she’s nearby.
Fucked her twice until 4am! Good to see this amazing body again.Saturday
Meetup Saint Gery some convos, my mental state could have been better.
Went home watching rsd max motivation vids and then Deli wing with Vincent then alone nice sets.
Next time push moreSunday
Running almost 20km with my ex, talked a lot about myself it was nice.
Seen the German again to have great time. It feels so great to get some affection, she finally opened a little bit admitting I was good at bed and cute->Lessons and next steps:
After nice Accountability 10, these last 2weeks my game was more on hold.
My inner state need a lot of attention to keep high energy and positive mindset
It’s not time the to complain, it’s not easy but I’ll fucking improve
Focus on getting detached of my sexfriends:
– Cro girl is not worth to contact again, if she cares about me she needs to invest herself
– French I’m waiting she comes back to me
– German limitation on seeing her once per week max
